So its done and over Football season has come and pass and I would like to say congratulations to the New York Giants and their fans for winning the Super Bowl. Good for you guys you lost to the Redskins twice, the Seahawks and to me in Madden and I was one of those shitty NFL Europe teams. But none the less congratulations, you kind of half heartedly deserved it. But now that we are past the football season we can only look ahead to what’s on the horizon. What is it you ask? Well my friends one thing for sure is we now have two months free of any girl pretending they are a sports fan. Girls can no longer post those annoying Facebook status’ or tweets about the Giants but with nine S’s at the end. Or about whatever team their boyfriend of a month and a half likes as a matter of fact. The sad part is as some of you girls are reading this you will probably be all mad and pissed off at me for calling you out like this. But look yourself in the mirror and really take a deep look into your eyes. We appreciate what your doing, its cool on game day to have another fan their to cheer on the teams we like but for gods sake don’t speak or talk and embarrass us. You don’t see me coming up to you in the middle of a girls night and talking about the Bachelor and getting the guys name wrong or talking about a girl who got kicked off the show weeks ago right. We each have our things that make us happy so please don’t try to infiltrate our areas like some god damn super spies because its not working.
You have your sports your suppose to like, you got the WNBA (and if you don’t know what that is stop reading now and just go shopping like normal girls), figure skating and competitive dancing. We will even give you the female events during the Olympics too. We don’t need you in our ears when a player goes down with an injury saying how gross it is and to turn the channel before you throw up. I want to see that injury happen in the slowest of slow motion replays. I want to see the point of impact where the helmet hits the upper leg area of the player then you can see the femur evacuate from the back of the said players legs and stick out the back of his pants. You know why because I am a Man and its part of the game. I don’t need you digging your head into my chest as you dry heave up your Fat Free Tostitos and low carb Artichoke dip.
Now I am not being a 100% hater probably just about 98%. Because I do understand there are some females out there that do follow sports very intensely. But if you take your race as a whole then well your beyond outnumbered. But we can all take a big deep sigh of relief as now our Sundays will not be filled with girls sitting by us and asking “what causes and off sides”, “Do football players make a lot of money?”, and lastly “I wish they made their pants tighter because their butts look great”. If you are a girl and today you got asked what was your favorite part about the Super Bowl on Sunday and you answer with …1) The Giants wining 2) Madonna or lastly 3) The cute dog commercials well its simple I hate you for well being you. However on a happier note if you were to answer with “I loved the Wing Right 31 Dive that Bradshaw scored” …then consider this my formal invitation to go on a date with me. Don’t take this as a “Kris only likes girls who are into sports” post either because I am not. I actually prefer girls who are not into sports makes life easier. But this is just me saying quit the fucking act, at least I would have more respect for you.
As I said in the beginning of this fellas we have two months of sports freedom. I say two months because after that time is over baseball is back which then we will be littered with girls jabbering at the mouth about the Yankees and redsox and Jeter and what washed up super model is banging Alex Rodriguez. Don’t be surprised if Kim Kardashian makes a splash into the baseball pool this year. That would be a nightmare for all of us. Not only would she bring herpes into the MLB but it would bring nonsense comments from girls who clearly don’t know what they are talking about. They just feel obligated to comment on it because they watch the shows all day every day with their meaningless life and think they are now best friends with the Kardashian family.
So in short the next two months will be a nice and quiet enjoyable two months for me and every other guy that enjoys all sports. Girls take this time and regain touch with your self. Get back to your Kardashian shows, and watching The Voice, and the Lifetime channel. You’re at the point of being a lost soul and you need to find yourself. In closing I appreciate the willingness to try something new out during the super bowl and preceding month leading up to it but now for gods sake as nicely as I can put it … fuck off, and leave the sports jabber to the individuals who know what they are talking about….cheers!
And if your still furious with this post …click this link and view the only proof I need. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwvTPNMEEGI
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